On this day three years ago I gave my life to Christ. The best decision of my life. It was on a starry warm evening next to the gulf of Mexico. I miss that place almost everyday especially OR4. It was amazing feeling the Holy Spirit that night. God bless.
I would die for someone I barely knew, cause sacrificing a life for someone else who might be meant to do more, is being a apart of God’s way of life.
I don’t like wearing clothes. Yes this is odd, I prefer to wear as little as possible and proper. I would rather chill in a bikini and shorts or spandex and a tank, then sweatpants and a shirt. I think it comes from being a dancer, especially when I dance, I can not have anything around my arm-pits and I prefer no tights.
Sometimes I am really lazy with my upkeep. Like I need to cut my nails right now but I am too lazy to do it. Or I wont brush my hair for days, it turns in to dreads then haha, which I half love. I hate plucking my eyebrows, I would rather just get them waxed every other month. My German heritage gave me such thick bushes that are impossible to upkeep.
These aren’t anything Usher would say, but some simple confessions that are pretty harmless.
The past 5 days have really changed a lot of things.
I have deactivated my facebook for a bit, and have deleted things off of my ipod to focus more. My mother was saying how distracted I was so to please her, I did that. Also after a tumultuous 24 hours with a certain someone, I find it better to be on break from talking without that. Sometimes I don’t understand why people do certain things. Like bargain with people’s feelings, or say stuff they don’t truly mean? I find it always better to be authentic 24/7. Several frustrations. One being money for college, to go to the school I want to go to, it is a lot of money. I did get some money off, but still a lot. Debating on going to prom or not cause that would save me some $250. Everybody’s like go to prom, but honestly I kind of don’t want to hang out with the same people and my closest best friends wont even really be there. Another frustration is when people alter your work without your consent, then your made out to look like and idiot and ass-hole (excuse my French) it is simply annoying and infuriating. It has been a rough week to say the least, hoping it will improve slightly.
People who judge
The color brow
Reading lame books for a grade
People who think they are in love
Un hygienic people
Improper punctuation and capitalization
People who think they are superior to everyone else
People who brings dreams down.
First Person: I am so frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and depressed about what has happened over the past year. I must take some blame. I am the one who exposed you to something that I believe has changed you. You do not care about what was once important, your rude and inconsiderate. You have lied to your mom. Played with people’s hearts and done something that I hoped you would never do. It is so hard to pray for you when you have burned me one too many times. I honestly want to have nothing to do with you for the rest of my life. But I will pray that you will be saved again.
Second Person: You have had a rough year, and I know it has been rough. I have tried to help you so much. And I feel like your always on the brink, but it is just easier to crawl back in to your pity party. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use what I have said put it in to action. Stop with the video games and drinking and get back to Jesus and the family that needs you. I pray for you so so much. And I hope some way we can get you back to where you were before.
Third Person: Why are you so rude/arrogant/such an asshole? I just do not understand? You seem to have a heart for God but then you treat people like dirt and act like everyone is unoriginal, what? I am so confused. I stay away from you because of your comments and hurt you have caused me and numerous others. I hope that somehow you will be able to love and respect others how you do the ones that are very dear to you.
I love to read, always have, always will. I hate reading books that are prescribed by my classes, currently Hamlet is the one being neglected.I prefer adult literature and a lot of foreign classics. I also enjoy political and historical books and books on current problems. I am weird
Favorite Books so far!
The Bible- Obviously the best book ever written!
The Glass Castle- Gives me so much hope
Jane Eyre - Amazing story
The Lovely Bones - I have a weird fascination with serial murders
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Series - Good for the Soul books
Harry Potter-no need for explanation
Irresistible Revolution- Shane Claiborne is one of the coolest people ever, seeing him speak 3 years ago was amazing, book equally amazing.
Day 4 reason behind Tumblr name.
A: my first initial
Scully: my last name which I actually love a lot.
xoxox: since middle school I have used this as my signature sign off. So I love it deeply.
Also this is my twitter name. Pretty cool stuff.
Checked my phone at 3:45 in the morning, went back to sleep. Alarm went off at 6:30 snoozed and woke up 10 mins later. Got up made my oatmeal, picked out my outfit for we had to dress up. Ate breakfast, got ready, checked my media, got ready, re-shaved my legs, went and started my car. Got all dressed and prayed then drove to school. Went to AP World, took a quiz. Went to AP Lit, had a few awkward moments with Mr. Buzinski, Amy and I did our poetry presentation. Sean was a dick. Had a pretty fun time though. Went to health, took a test where I wasnt there for half of the material. BS a lot of it haha did some AP world. Went to Acorn had a floor meeting, did some questions, then went to my dads for lunch with Liza. Made a Cal-zone and went back to school. Changed back in to my shoes. Went over ad stuff with Ms. Maudlin. Got to go to to the top secret copy room and make a bunch of copies. Finished certain things, ran off to French. Listen to Sean and Mme be sassy to each other. Began decorating the class for Mardi Gras. Covered up the two side boards and listened to Ke$ha and Glee. Went to six hour, listened to Mr. Cost rant, texted, took notes started on that load of homework. Ran out of class to my locker got out of school, went to dads to clean up, went home. Grabbed some stuff and went to babysit. Realized my neighbor was asleep so I knocked on doors and windows and called the phone 39302 times. Went to my house to grab the extra key got in and had to wake her up. Sat around and watched Obama speak, talked to Danny for a bit, then went home. Had some cake and texted then went and took a nap. Woke up to my dog going in out of my room and my moms heels on our floor. layed in bed for another half an hour watching Gilmore Girls. Got up cut up some celery got ready, stopped at dodgy Oakridge Market and picked up some pop, gps-ed to the Schafers, went over there with the dance team. Had pizza watched mean girls. Played twister listened to music. Laughed a lot with Anna and Courtney. Lip synced, ate a lot of chocolate covered popcorn :) and watched Kyana dance, watched dance videos online. Drove home in the rain and used my fog lights. And now this! Bed shortly after this. There is my pointless day.
August was the time when we fell out. But actually we didn’t my mother and you go in a fight. You were lying at one point, she confronted you. You both are stubborn and don’t like to be wrong. And so a fight erupted. With blocking out my mother you blocked me out, so I did the same. I really should have tried harder, but one can only take rejection so many times. You have deleted me numerous times over facebook, so I am done trying on that level. I wish things could go back to what they were, before this all unraveled. You have made my mother and I one person so you will not forgive me for what she has done. You still believe that I would run and tell my mom everything which is bull-shit. I would have thought you would have known better but apparently I was wrong. I hope eventually you can forgive me so we can be best friends again. Maybe you will read this, but you probably wont. All it is, is words.